Three stories of perseverance

Last week, I received good news from three different friends of mine. Those were news of success, achievement and accomplishment.

The first news was from someone who had received rejection despite their best effort. Their best was not good enough. They held on, and finally outgrew their failure by striving for alternative, hopefully better  options. Their story was of "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

The second news was from someone who had finally reached the milestone, that they had set out for years back. Theirs was a long, arduous journey full of frustration, setbacks, and uncertainties. But they did not give up, and eventually reached there.

The third news was a story of climbing a ladder of success. Their story was of dedication, focus, clear goal and patience. They started out small, took one deliberate step at a time, and gave their best each time.

I felt thankful that they shared the good news with me. Although I have not been an intimate part of their respective journeys, I was aware of them by our conversations now and then. I am sure they might have felt a sense of "I am not good enough", "I won't be able to make it", "This is too hard and painful", and many other difficult emotions. But, in the end, they made it. They are winners of their own battles.  And what sets them apart from everyone else is the fact that they did not give up. They marched on, in a style that was their own. 

My heart goes out to each one out there who are struggling. Just hang in there. Your day will come. :)

The two countries - Persia and Iran

It was a Saturday afternoon. I went to the Indian store for grocery shopping. Since the Indian store is far from my home, I tend to go there once in a few months with a long list and load my cart with bags. So after my tiresome grocery experience, I called for cab. When I met the cab driver, it was mildly awkward. The driver looked white, his name (from my app) sounded like an African name, and his attitude was like an Indian man (read tashan). Unlike typical drivers, he did not greet me with great enthusiasm or any follow up conversations. I won't lie if I say I resented that he did not help me with my luggage, although he helped in holding the cart. It was not unpleasant, but something not usual either. I got into the cab, turned my GPS on, texted my friend to be online just in case. A few minutes passed in silence. It was bothering me. So I decided, "Enough. Start talking." And I asked him, "mmm...huh....am sorry, but I am not sure if I pronounced your name correctly. How do you pronounce your name?" Then he said his name. It is actually two names, that the app joined together as one. Now it made sense. The name was an Arabic name. It resembled a Pakistani singer, but I could not recall his face. So I got lost in thought. Then he quickly added, "It is like the name of a famous Pakistani singer." I agreed, "Yes, that's what I was thinking".

Now, my other confusion started. So he is a muslim. He looks like he is white. He is not excited at me being obviously Indian. So he might be anywhere from Pakistan to west Asia. He spoke of the singer admirably, but he did not have the same pride as a Pakistani would about the singer. Then where is he from?

Well, this time it did not take me long. I asked and he replied, "I am from Iran." I was relieved, for it gave a rest to my confusion. Now my mind shifted from being confused to being curious. I told him that I have met a lot of Iranian people in my grad school and made a few good friends. I asked him if he is doing ok with the situation that arose thanks to the recent elections. He said with great confidence, "Ya...ya. It's all good. I have my green card. So I do not have to worry. But if Trump decides to send me back, I will ask him to book a first class flight ticket for my country. He is like a family friend.", and laughed. Then the conversation started flowing. We exchanged our experiences and opinions on life in USA, life as expatriates, what we miss about our home country etc, etc. 

Then the interesting part came. I asked, "How do Americans react when they know you are from Iran?" He said with his typical tashan, "See, I don't tell them right away. I tell them I am from two countries. First, I was in Persia. ". We both paused. Then he continued, "Then I became citizen of Iran. So I am from both Persia and Iran."  I was like "What, they did not get it?!" And he said, "Nope." I laughed hard. That joke, just made my day :)

He continued, "When they hear Persia, they think it is some country in the eastern Europe. Even though they don't know, they are afraid to ask. So if I ask, 'Have you heard of it?', they say, a weak yes. But when they hear Iran, they get shocked. " I was admiring his wit! I asked, "Well, do you reveal them at all?" He said, "Sometimes yes. I tell them after some time, 'Do you know Persia and Iran are the same countries?' " and laughed. This time his laughter had a tone of seriousness and irritation that such memories brought him. 

Then he went on the ignorance about the world in American education, how people change their names when they move here, or try to ape American culture, and forget their own culture... and many other topics. I agreed with some, defended some,  was clueless about some, and tried to fill my G.K. tank with some other topics.

When I reached home, he not only helped me with my luggage, but stopped and waited in his car until I entered my apartment.

Watch what you say to your loved ones

A few months ago, I went to a day-long painting workshop. After a short early-morning adventure, I finally found my venue. The instructor was an old lady, probably in her 60s. The workshop was really nice, and I got to learn a lot of techniques, skills, and styles. She also showed her paintings, which were beautiful. During the lessons, she would tell small stories about her childhood days, how she would ride on horse in the countryside, how everybody knew each other, how her parents had a huge rock collection. I loved those stories for they gave me a chance to glance at how life in America was back in the old days. 

During noon, most of us headed out for lunch. I was new to the area, so I followed them. As we walked, I was curious about how long she has been painting. She said, her Mom was a painter, and she got inspired from her. She used to paint when she was young, but she stopped painting after she got married. She resumed painting only since last 12 years, and has been painting ever since. I exclaimed, "Why?" She said, her husband did not think  she painted well. He dismissed her painting and often ridiculed her. And her eyes started welling up in tears, and she could not speak further. I did not know what to say. They got divorced after 25 years of marriage. I tried to console and divert her with some lame words, while cringing inside. Then she said, that her ailing Mom came to stay with her one day. She asked her Mom, "What would you like to do?" Her Mom said, "What we always did." And they started painting together. They continued to paint until her Mom took her last breath. My instructor continues to paint to cherish the memory of her Mom and the beautiful time they spent together.

Her story both shocked and moved me. Here is a woman, with amazing painting skills, stopped it for TWENTY FIVE long years, because someone she loved rejected it. And it has been long since her ex-husband was out of her life, more than a decade. She had gathered courage to realize that she is actually good at what she does, and to actually resume the practice. Still she was hurting. Still her eyes were welling up with tears when she remembered about it. Still she could not find words to explain her situation.

This lady's story just told me what can a loved one do to you. Recently, I read a facebook post saying that you are a result of the people around you.  It reminded me of her story on how two important persons in her life shaped her life. On one hand, her Mom who pulled her up for a better life, and her ex-husband who dragged her down. I felt scared. It made me realize how much power do we have to make drastic changes in others' lives. 

I see so many people constantly criticizing their spouses, and even enjoying it, dismissing and humiliating their children, ridiculing people around them, and thriving from the act. We must understand that our words and actions have a strong impact on people around us, and especially our loved ones, because they need us, they seek our approval, the same way we do. To those who justify their act of dismissing, or being mean, or being negative to their loved ones for whatever reason, I have a sincere request. Please be kind, at least to those you love. Watch what you say to them. Watch what you say about them. Watch what you do to them. Yes, karma is a bitch, and it is going to chase you back. Even if you don't care about that,  please realize that  you have the potential to destroy someone's life and break someone's soul.

The wonder in those eyes...

After I got in the bus to work (the preceding story goes here), I got a seat next to a Mom with her  few months old baby. The baby was strapped against the Mom's chest with a strapped bag. The strapped bag was holding the baby pretty robustly, I must say. Every time I see these advanced baby holding tools, I feel impressed and appreciate technology. 

Any way, the baby was super cute, with big black eyes. I could not help staring at him, and he also stared back, with lots of curiosity, as if he was just grasping everything that he was seeing when he was looking at me. I did not want to annoy his Mom. So I broke the eye contact, but nevertheless continued watching him. He was watching everything, staring at people around him, at the constantly moving road. He would let out a scream of excitement whenever he found something interesting, and whenever the scene changed, say from forests, to the mesh of concrete highways. He would shake his hands and legs briefly as he screamed, and then quickly go back to grasping all his surrounding. He was a delight to watch. His Mom would laugh every time he screamed. I got to talk to her briefly before I got down at my stop, and she said, it was her baby's first day out in the city. That explained why he was so excited, filled with wonder about everything that was going on around him!

That morning, he made my day. I wish more grown up people could wonder like that...

Two life lessons in two seconds

It is the story of the other day, when I was very relaxed and chilled out. I was not in any rush, even though I was slightly late to work.  I had to walk a little from my house, go to the other side of the highway on a over-bridge, and catch the bus right after climbing down the over-bridge. I was walking slowly, as if I have all the time in the world. I had one flight of stairs to climb down, and a bus came to the stop. I hurried up. But the bus left right at the moment I stepped on to the platform with a dramatic effect. How insensitive! I felt bad, and rejected. I scolded myself, "Opportunities won't be sitting out there waiting for you! You have to rush and hurry up, if you want to catch them!"

And right when I started lecturing myself all the wisdom, another bus came, within a second after the first bus left. And I cheered up, "Yeah! If one opportunity gets lost, no worries, another will come."

 And my day started rolling with the bus :)