Watch what you say to your loved ones

A few months ago, I went to a day-long painting workshop. After a short early-morning adventure, I finally found my venue. The instructor was an old lady, probably in her 60s. The workshop was really nice, and I got to learn a lot of techniques, skills, and styles. She also showed her paintings, which were beautiful. During the lessons, she would tell small stories about her childhood days, how she would ride on horse in the countryside, how everybody knew each other, how her parents had a huge rock collection. I loved those stories for they gave me a chance to glance at how life in America was back in the old days. 

During noon, most of us headed out for lunch. I was new to the area, so I followed them. As we walked, I was curious about how long she has been painting. She said, her Mom was a painter, and she got inspired from her. She used to paint when she was young, but she stopped painting after she got married. She resumed painting only since last 12 years, and has been painting ever since. I exclaimed, "Why?" She said, her husband did not think  she painted well. He dismissed her painting and often ridiculed her. And her eyes started welling up in tears, and she could not speak further. I did not know what to say. They got divorced after 25 years of marriage. I tried to console and divert her with some lame words, while cringing inside. Then she said, that her ailing Mom came to stay with her one day. She asked her Mom, "What would you like to do?" Her Mom said, "What we always did." And they started painting together. They continued to paint until her Mom took her last breath. My instructor continues to paint to cherish the memory of her Mom and the beautiful time they spent together.

Her story both shocked and moved me. Here is a woman, with amazing painting skills, stopped it for TWENTY FIVE long years, because someone she loved rejected it. And it has been long since her ex-husband was out of her life, more than a decade. She had gathered courage to realize that she is actually good at what she does, and to actually resume the practice. Still she was hurting. Still her eyes were welling up with tears when she remembered about it. Still she could not find words to explain her situation.

This lady's story just told me what can a loved one do to you. Recently, I read a facebook post saying that you are a result of the people around you.  It reminded me of her story on how two important persons in her life shaped her life. On one hand, her Mom who pulled her up for a better life, and her ex-husband who dragged her down. I felt scared. It made me realize how much power do we have to make drastic changes in others' lives. 

I see so many people constantly criticizing their spouses, and even enjoying it, dismissing and humiliating their children, ridiculing people around them, and thriving from the act. We must understand that our words and actions have a strong impact on people around us, and especially our loved ones, because they need us, they seek our approval, the same way we do. To those who justify their act of dismissing, or being mean, or being negative to their loved ones for whatever reason, I have a sincere request. Please be kind, at least to those you love. Watch what you say to them. Watch what you say about them. Watch what you do to them. Yes, karma is a bitch, and it is going to chase you back. Even if you don't care about that,  please realize that  you have the potential to destroy someone's life and break someone's soul.